tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5207692.post545746528133393983..comments2008-10-15T15:31:12.960-07:00M. Xia Voxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10140659596690370437xiavox@gmail.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5207692.post-82053896475319166172008-10-15T15:30:00.000-07:002008-10-15T15:30:00.000-07:00M. Xia,<BR/><BR/>You may or may not remember me- I was fortunate to enjoy your genius when you were at The Gates. <BR/><BR/>My life took me on a variety of odd paths, and I drifted away. It's odd to think of it in such passive terms; the impression you left me with was one of fiery strength, and delicious intelligence. But it was all new to me, so I stumbled a few times. Ultimately I took the sensible path of pausing to collect my sense of self, figure out what I was looking for, how I could pursue it with intent.<BR/><BR/>I always took great pleasure in reading your blog, but over time, the lingering image of you, the flesh and blood you seemed farther away. I could enjoy the blog as a luscious intellectual treat, but it couldn't substitute for you in person. So I let that slip away as well.<BR/><BR/>Until today. I found a bookmark, so I started reading when I woke up, and I didn't stop until I had read all the last year's entries- twice.<BR/><BR/>And I had this epiphany. About what makes you such an incredible creature. It was the strangest moment- I suddenly saw an essence that I had missed before, an essence that I had seen from the edges, an essence that I had never seen from the center.<BR/><BR/>So here it is. I had always seen you as possessing a fiery energy, an energy which I had always seen expressed as part of a vivid personality, a incredibly savvy person negotiating a complex world. So I tended to see the twists and turns of that negotiation, I tended to see the social you, the you in conflict, or in peace, the you in session, the you in intense engagement with those around you. I focused on how that negotiation took place. Which, I should add, was a lot of fun.<BR/><BR/>But it kept me from really seeing something else. The energy, by itself. I'm going to take a leap here. Buddhism has the idea that there is spiritual evolution, and as that evolution takes place, a purity of harmony is sought. That harmony is not necessary a somnambulant peace; it is a harmony of energy without distraction, beautiful in the moment of purity.<BR/><BR/>My epiphany follows that perspective. You have an ability, hell, an incredible talent for articulate social analysis, so I tended to revel in the conflicts and ironies and issues that you look at in this human world. These are presented with all the energy present, in complex expression. How could I do anything but enjoy the richness of your perspectives? So it never occurred to me to (for a moment) strip the social relationship perspectives that you graciously offered from my mind, and focus simply on the energy behind the expression. It never occurred to me to strip away the complexity, the social ambiguity, my own intellectual desire to take an argument side, my own desire to be in the analysis, and simply look at the energy, from a completely neutral perspective. Which is a shame. I saw the energy from the edge, enjoyed it from the edge. But I never saw the best part; looking at just the energy, I see a fiery beauty that transcends. An evolved energy that is pure and incredible. By itself.<BR/><BR/>I wish you all the best,<BR/><BR/>XOXO<BR/><BR/>SAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com